This is uncomfortable; not having something pressing to be
delivered as it had been since I have been here. But I am not complaining; being
highly motivated by words of encouragement and approvals that obviously I had
not been used to. I am hence settling down here for a break and revel in the
rarity of such occurrence at work. Playing a mix of good Motown oldies in the
office and looking out the dimly tinted windows is putting me to sleep.
So, if I am done writing for work, I should be writing
something for myself to keep myself awake.
I smell boiled eggs – I have a bunch of health nuts
colleagues, which make me more comfortable bringing salad to work because they
do not go all judgey on me. Despite being fairly contented here at the moment,
I still miss my favourite work partner-in-crime of all times dearly. On hindsight,
my work then, was a graveyard of buried thoughts with no space for creativity
or perhaps even freedom and pride. The only reason I did not leave the place
much earlier is now happily married and settling down in Sydney.
We could publish a book on what we went through together;
good times and bad times. Can’t say we did not make an attempt; we listed a
good 93 unfair atrocious crimes against us (lol). It was all extremely therapeutic
for the bitterness we felt then, if not a comedic take on the series of
unpleasant events; but nothing is left – all I feel is indifference.
Boy, am I happy for us. “You may not be all that you want to
be, but you can look back and say, “Thank you God; I am not where I am used to
be.’” Pretty sure there is a more profound meaning to that sentence but it is
certainly apt for me. Yet, I could see how that unpleasant 2 years changed me,
to constantly remind myself to avoid such situations at all costs by making
improvements where possible. I am now my own nit-picker and we work well
together.
I am always duly cautious when it comes to proclaiming how ‘happy’
I am now, because while I have hope for this happiness to not be the fleeting
sort, life sometimes just does not work out the way we usually expect it to be.
But it is also my conviction that ultimately God knows best where to place me
and when.
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